So it has happened. The day has come that I was planning for , anticipating with both joy and dread.
The sale of my house closed on Monday and I was moved out by Friday. The majority of my stuff was either donated, or given to loved ones, leaving me with 3x 3 storage unit stuffed to gills of my most treasured belongings and a car full fo shoes and coats.
Some things I just couldn’t bear to part with. Parts of me that were collected over the 6 years of owning the home, and from my whole life. Hence the storage unit, I had planned on just getting rid of most everything , take a few bags with me towards my next destination, but as I pulled more and more stuff out of my house and I realized how I might want to see that later, that those things meant stuff to me then, that they marked decades of my prior life and that it needed to by honored, not thrown by the wayside.
One thing this era of home owning has taught me is that all aspects of you past, present and future need to be honored and respected. If you don’t accept that your home is 80 years old and needs upkeep, bigger problems arise, if you don’t accept that the garbage has a schedule you have to stick to, your garbage piles up next to your house, if you don’t upkeep the lawn, ie. mow it consistency, it attracts mice, and your airbnb tenants get angry. And if you don’t accept that all these little things you are letting slide, are only going to get worse if you ignore them, you will have big problems later. These words can be applied to all aspects of life, and to our own body, mind and soul , but they are easier to ignore in those aspects, at least for me.
When it’s your home, something you had invested big money into, and its staring you right in the face, it’s harder to look away. So you don’t, you start to fix what needs fixing, you start to anticipate what will be needed next, you get the right people to work for you, and you mow your damn lawn!
My tendency is to rush, rush through to the next thing, the new adventure , the new calling…. hello Sagittarius moon!
But what this creates is a lack of presence, a lack of being in the now moment and enjoying everything around you. When you rush through life, focused on the future you miss out. You don’t value the moments of now, and it’s the moments of now that make up your life.
Now when I think of my 3×3 storage unit I am filled with love. It is located in a near by town, about 20 minutes drive, surrounded by an industrial park, gas stations, and drive thru espresso places. Somewhere that I would not have given a second though to before, actually I would have actually avoided it, but now when I think of it, I think of all the precious things I kept, baby pictures, keepsakes from my first long term travel, artwork from my nieces, items that I bought just for myself when I took the ownership of my home over completely on my own, and probably too many chicken related art…
I have gratitude for all the parts of my life that I had previously discarded, by being too focused by the next thing. This little storage unit now has the feeling of home to me. The feeling of the items that hold meaning to me. A little place I can call all my own. A grounding cord for my upcoming travels, which was always what my home was to me. I could go off and see the sights, do the things, and feel the feels, all knowing that I have a safe place to return to. Now this place is considerably smaller, but it still holds that same feelings, a place where I can be amongst the older versions of me, the versions of me that got me to the present version.
Those versions, I now meet with love and reverence, I give them the time and space they always needed, I honor them, while keeping my eye on the focus, but feet firmly planted in the present.