Whelp! This has been coming up so much for me and others around me. I decided to write a post on it, perhaps it will resonate with you as well.
We all have them. We all know them. That person… that person that when you think of him or her, your face gets flushed, your chest tightens and your mind start to race. An interaction with them, can send you spinning, it can disrupt a previous moment of calm, and send you into a response of either thoughts of how terrible they are, or how terrible you are. They bring out sides of you that you would rather not face. Basically they bring out your shadow side, the feelings you have disowned, for whatever reason. But they all come back when faced with this person.
And here is the kicker…. it’s not about that person, it is about you. Everything is about you. Life is an internal game, what you subconsciously believe in, you see manifest all around you. Change your subconscious believes, change you life.
AND that, is what the person is here to help you do that.
It is my belief that the universe is conspiring to grow you, to evolve you into the truest version of yourself. Not the conditioned version of your ego, your character or even who you think you are. The true version, underneath that, your soul’s version, your highest self, the big self, the inner knowing, there are many words for it, you pick the one that resonates with you, but I think you understand where I am coming from.
This person is here to help you become that. By challenging you, by making you feel discomfort of seeing something you want in her, seeing something you have disowned in her, seeing who you could be in her, seeing her winning, seeing her losing, seeing her owning her gifts, or seeing her squandering them. This person is inviting you to look inward, what is beyond this surface level judgement? What feeling is at the core of this? It is often said that if someone judges you, and it hurts, it’s because you hold that same judgement. They are here to help you heal. Now I KNOW that is not an easy pill to swallow, or even to hear.
But if we can reframe all of the difficult people in our lives as bringing us the opportunity to heal something with us, in order for our growth, vs. the victim consciousness of “why am I surrounded by all these people who suck” ….if we can be open to the fact that yes, we all have areas of growth, we all have wounds that hold us back from reaching our true potential, IF we can look at the situation from that lense, we can hold space for ourselves to heal the hurt that this person is triggering.
If it wasn’t this person, it would be someone else, or something else, or a different situation but all bringing up the same disowned feelings, the universe will keep bringing the lesson to you in different forms, until you stop blaming and shaming, and look inward, with compassion towards self.
AND you know the best part about this… you do not have to keep this person in your life. You can learn what you need to and move on. If it’s a person you can not move on from, you can put up boundaries, you do not need to stay around this person to “learn and grow”…. you can move past it.
That is freedom in my book. Thanks person A for showing me this thing I needed to look at! and now bye….
I like to say this…
” I love you as a human, I honor your human, thank you for the opportunity to grow and I wish you well… and bye “