Let’s talk about a topic of much controversy, at least in my mind. Is that my ego mind or my intuition talking? I have had a difficult time trusting myself, I tend to either over anaylize OR totally do the thing and not think about it. Both have had their merits, and both have had their challenges. But when I am conscously trying to access my intuition it’s a much more fine tuned process.
It’s more of a whisper felt by a sensation in my body, an expansive feeling, or a constriction.
Or sometimes a quiet voice coming from my heart center, with a somewhat vague message.
One that I can choose to honor in that moment, or let my mind start it’s favorite job of analyzing the crap out of something, with all the reasons I should definitely “not” do something.
One of the biggest realizations I have had is that if you are debating yourself ” Is that my intuition or my ego talking?” means that it is not your intuition, it is now your ego based mind, basically debating itself. Distracting you from anything whisper that your intuition had given you.
Perhaps the whisper was there, perhaps it was really quiet , or you didn’t like what it said. A lot of times you won’t, a lot of times it does not make sense, or go along with the normal status quo, it pushes you out of your comfort zone and out of the zone of immediate gratification. Those zones are where you ego LOVE to be, in the familiar, safe and sound and comfortable. It loves to set up shop here, and will do almost anything to keep you here, even if it is not for your highest and best good.
Now let’s dive into the ego mind a bit more. Your ego mind is your conditioned identity, who you think you are, what you think you like, the construct of “self” that has been created by your past. Your ego lives in the past, when you start to delve into things you haven’t done before, it will pipe up. It is piping up to me right in the moment, saying ” stop writing this, you have nothing to say”.
But I carry on, because I have learned to see my ego as a part of me that has protecting me for years and years. When I was small and overwhelmed, it swooped in with it’s distractions, so I could carry on. I see it through a sense of loving annoyance, ok, there you go again, “thank you but we are ok”….